Doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.

That pretty much sums up the last two months of my life. I've racked up more doctor bills than I care to think about. Let's start at the beginning...

Here's the situation, my parents went away for a weeks vacation...okay, just kidding...no more Fresh Prince of Bel-Air...I'll get to the story:

About 2 months ago now, my tonsils decided that they didn't like being a normal size. They grew way beyond what they should have been. So I went to the doctor. They tested for strep: negative. I went home and decided it would heal itself and I went on with life. Over a week later, it was worse, and I went to the doctor again. This time they didn't run a test but they told me: persistent tonsillitis. I called bull...oney! and scheduled an appointment with a specialist.

I went to the specialist on President's Day. She ordered a mono test and an EBV test. (EBV = Epstein-Barr Virus...for more information do the google search.) After passing out from the tests (I know, I'm pathetic...I know, I know), I found out that neither test was positive. So then I preceded to forget that she had taken a throat culture for a bacteria. Anyway, I decided that I hated doctors and that they were all quacks. (At least in Utah, I actually like all the ones I've had outside of Utah...seriously, do we get the bottom of the barrel in Utah???)

Fast forward to yesterday. I woke up Thursday morning at about 5 in the morning and my throat was killing me. I'm not kidding. I had to dig through my storage closet to find my cough drops so that I could go back to sleep. I woke up the next morning and took my temperature (I was freezing!): 99.5. I made an appointment with the doctor (sorry, nurse practitioner) and went back to sleep. By the time I was getting ready to go my temp was up to 101. So I popped some Tylenol and went to the appointment. More tests!! This time I got not only the strep and mono test but I got a CBC and a flu test. (FYI: Flu tests are the new torture device for the government. YIKES!! It hurt so bad, I would have given up any information they wanted to not repeat that experience!!) This time, I did not pass out...but I took precautions this time. :) This time I got an answer: influenza. I was ordered to bed. And have been there ever since.

Today, I get a phone call from the specialist that I had forgotten about. Apparently, there is more bacteria in the back of my throat than at the CDC. Okay, maybe not that much, but I have a lot. I'm now on meds for that too. Finally, an answer for the swollen tonsil...and influenza on top of it. If one of the first two doctors had just been smart enough to do a test for all sorts of bacteria, then maybe I wouldn't have come down with the flu. Oh well...