22 December 2009

Post-Exposure Prophylactics

I work for a company that develops certification courses. I'm currently working on blood borne pathogens. With possible HIV exposure comes post-exposure prophylactics. Basically, a cocktail of drugs to help prevent you from contracting the virus. They're about 80% effective according to my research. Even still, don't be stupid. Use protection. Or as my grandmother (may she rest in peace, and not come smite me for putting this on the internet) would call them "prophylactics." Not condoms, or diaphragm. But prophylactics.

In fact, she used to ride the bus to work, back in the day. And once she went to open her purse for change only to find that her darling husband (my grandfather...may he rest in peace and not smite me for putting this in the blogosphere) had filled her purse with....*whispers*.....prophylactics. Blown up....*whispers*....prophylactics. They proceeded to spill out of her purse, her face turning red in direct proportion to the amount of .... whispers*....prophylactics...that came out of the purse.

You see, she would tell this story to us, but she'd never be able to say condoms. Nor would she be able to say prophylactics with a normal timbre. She was not raised to. Ladies didn't talk about such things. Well Grandma, now the whole world will know your secret.

I love you!

P.S. I had to go in and fix this 3 times. I should learn to edit before posting. *sighs*

21 December 2009

Shout Outs

I just set up my page with analytics. WHEE!!

Shout outs go to my sister's page and my friend Redoubt's page. They have sent me visitors since I started tracking. Even if it was just them checking, I still appreciate them for driving my numbers....which are low. Oh so sadly low....

Anyway! Just thought I'd thank them for their efforts. :) Even if their efforts are passive and not active.

18 December 2009


Remember that game I was telling you about yesterday? She-pherd is our name for it now. Inspired by my friend's undergrad student that thought shepherd was 2 morphemes. She might have been right if she'd divided it as shep-herd. (Let me emphasize that it is MIGHT!*) And then talked about how shep is most likely a reduced form of sheep and herd denotes that it is the person herding the sheep not the sheep themselves. But she didn't.

So today's misinterpretation is "defrocking" or the act of rocking out to Def Leppard.

And there you have it.

*cursory searches on dictionary.com show that is where they would mark morpheme boundaries, but alas....I am at work and can't check the source of all word knowledge: the Oxford English Dictionary.

17 December 2009

Sometimes When I'm Bored

I play "where did this word come from" games. Points are awarded for the most original origin. No points for the real etymology. Today's word: 'misled'

This word is made of 2 morphemes:

mi- and sled

As you can see it has the root word "sled" in it.

This comes from a misinterpretation of "me sled" in Middle English. People often will lax their vowels making "me sled" sound like "mi sled." People will often run words together for ease of articulation. Leading to the written form becoming "misled" instead of the original "me sled"

So now you know. "misled" is a variant of "my sled."

But, you might ask. What about the meaning of "to lead astray"? Think about it. If someone is on YOUR sled, and you wanted it back so you start pulling on it. It's easy to lead them down a path other than the one they wanted. All the while yelling, "mi sled! mi sled!" Consequently, we've now adopted it to mean "lead astray" and inserted the newer form "my sled" as the standard for possession.

And that is how it works.

16 December 2009

15 December 2009

12 December 2009

Love is a Mix Tape

"[Kurt Cobain] made me think about death and marriage and a lot of things that I didn't want to think about at all. I would have been glad to push this music to the back of my brain, put some furniture in front of it so I couldn't see it, and wait thirty or forty years for it to rot so it wouldn't be there to scare me anymore. The married guy was a lot more disturbing to me than the dead junkie."
In Love is a Mix Tape*, you find out that the author's (Rob Sheffield) wife dies on the first page. He tells you. What he doesn't tell you is that he will take you on the journey of their love. For each other and for music. Music pervades the story. Each memory is tied to a song. He had a tape to wash dishes too. She had a tape to sew to. His story fills my soul and wanders around like an old friend looking for comfort and finding none.

Doesn't make you want to read it, does it? But I would tell you that is a mistake. His words resonate within you shaking you to your core. You feel his pain. You weep when he weeps. You want to sing along to Hall & Oates with him and Renée as they drive around with no particular place to go. The story is as much about their innocence and naïveté. About their coming of age, facing the realities of life head on with an exuberance only a true worshipper of music can.

If you haven't read it. Read it. I've read my copy many times. I pulled it down tonight to reread because I was in the mood for a story that would take me away from my world. And this story never fails.

*The hardcover addition is even in the bargain books now. I paid full price for mine and it was worth it. But I might have to buy a second copy to put away for when this one loses all its pages from over use!

07 December 2009

Will Work 4 Books

Andee and I went to the mall tonight for dinner. Wingers. Not a happy thing. She found a hair in her food and she will probably never eat there again. Not a big loss, right?

So after we got done with dinner I did not want to go back outside into the freezing cold. So we started wandering. Walden Books is going out of business and I found a couple GREAT books for my cousin Joseph's Christmas present.

Then we were wandering around afterward and we happened upon a used bookstore. Eborn Books. I was chatting with the owner and jokingly asked if they needed someone part-time/weekends help. He said yeah, and that they'd pay me in books. I said, "DONE!!" Andee is in on it too. We'll be going back right after Christmas to take in resumes and hash out the details.


02 December 2009

Sheena is a Punk Rocker?

Or overused?

Don't get me wrong. I love The Ramones. I honestly do. They are to punk (alternative) rock what The Beatles are to mainstream rock. However, I have about 6 copies of Sheena is a Punk Rocker thanks to every Indie film soundtrack I purchase.

There are so many other songs that could be used.

Leave Sheena alone. Please. And for the love, I Wanna Be Sedated, leave that one alone too. I have about 4 copies of that for similar reasons. Branch out. They have other music you know. And I'm not referring to Blitzkrieg Bop either. Let's hear some of their other music.


01 December 2009

Interesting Find Today

This gave me pause today.

Thanks Jon!

(And, yes...it is slightly ironic that I blogged it...)

13 November 2009

Fox News needs to be STOPPED!

I am a member of MoveOn.org and today I received an email about signing a petition. This petition requests that Fox News owner apologize for saying that Glenn Beck (don't get me started on him!) was right to call President Obama racist. If you follow the link in the below email, you can sign the petition as well. I recommend reading this, signing the petition, and boycotting Fox News.

Dear MoveOn member,

Rupert Murdoch, owner of FOX and the News Corporation empire, just said Glenn Beck "was right" when he called President Obama "racist."1

This is a rare moment of candor from Murdoch, one of the most powerful media barons in the world.

Our friends at ColorOfChange.org are calling out Murdoch for FOX's long history of race-baiting.2 Can you add your name to the growing demand for Murdoch to apologize and end FOX's race-baiting? Clicking here will add your name to our petition:


The petition says: "Rupert Murdoch should apologize and put an end to FOX's race-baiting, or admit he agrees with it."

ColorOfChange.org has successfully urged over 80 advertisers to cut ties with Glenn Beck's show after he called President Obama "racist."3 Murdoch is now backpedaling to keep advertisers from dropping FOX altogether.

Last week, Murdoch said, "if you actually assess what he was talking about, [Beck] was right" to say Obama is racist. When heads turned, Murdoch's spokesman insisted, "He does not at all, for a minute, think the president is a racist."4

But the meaning of Murdoch's words was clear. And he hasn't agreed to stop FOX's race-baiting.

FOX's top hosts are using racism to whip up opposition to President Obama:
  • Glenn Beck accused Obama of "a deep-seated hatred for white people."5
  • Sean Hannity accused Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor of anti-white racism.6
  • Bill O'Reilly talked about "a lynching party" against Michelle Obama.7
FOX insists there's a difference between its news shows and its right-wing opinion shows. But FOX's "news" anchors have been just as bad as Hannity and Beck in accusing Justice Sotomayor of "reverse racism."8

FOX executives now describe the channel as "the voice of opposition" to Obama's administration. 9 FOX President Roger Ailes—who played on racial fears to help George H.W. Bush defeat Michael Dukakis—said, "I see this as the Alamo."10

Now the man in charge of it all, Rupert Murdoch, says he agrees with Glenn Beck's "racist" charge against President Obama.

If Murdoch wants to apologize, he should stop FOX's race-baiting. Add your name to our petition by clicking here:


Thank you for all you do.

–Noah, Carrie, Kat, Laura, and the rest of the team

1. Rupert Murdoch interview, Sky News, November 6, 2009

2. "An Open Letter to Rupert Murdoch: What Exactly Do You Mean?" The Huffington Post, November 10, 2009

"Murdoch: Make a choice," ColorOfChange.org, November 11, 2009

3. "Help us hold the line," ColorOfChange.org

4. "Murdoch doesn't consider Obama racist: Spox," Politico, November 10, 2009

5. "Mad Man: Is Glenn Beck Bad for America?" Time, September 17, 2009

6. "Fox's news programs echo its "opinion" shows: Smears, doctored videos, GOP talking points," Media Matters for America, October 13, 2009

"Fox News is just asking about Sotomayor's 'wise Latina' remarks: 'New Racism?'" Media Matters for America, June 1, 2009

"Hannity distorts Sotomayor's comments to claim she 'seems to disagree' with Dr. King," Media Matters for America, June 12, 2009

"Hannity says Sotomayor defense of comments 'didn't work' for Allen, Lott," Media Matters for America, July 15, 2009

"Media imagine scorn 'white male' would receive for equivalent of Sotomayor's 'wise Latina' remarks," Media Matters for America, May 29, 2009

7. "FOX Attacks! Michelle Obama," FOXAttacks.com, July 9, 2008

8. "Fox's news programs echo its "opinion" shows: Smears, doctored videos, GOP talking points," Media Matters for America, October 13, 2009

"Fox News is just asking about Sotomayor's 'wise Latina' remarks: 'New Racism?'" Media Matters for America, June 1, 2009

"Hannity distorts Sotomayor's comments to claim she 'seems to disagree' with Dr. King," Media Matters for America, June 12, 2009

"Hannity says Sotomayor defense of comments 'didn't work' for Allen, Lott," Media Matters for America, July 15, 2009

"Media imagine scorn 'white male' would receive for equivalent of Sotomayor's 'wise Latina' remarks," Media Matters for America, May 29, 2009

9. "'Voice of the opposition': Fox News openly advocates against Democratic Congress, White House," Media Matters for America, September 11, 2009

10. "Fox News' rhetoric echoes Ailes' long history of race-baiting," Media Matters for America, October 27, 2009

12 November 2009

Because Ducks Rock....especially from Hawaii...

...and I'm trying to beat Megan for most posts in one day.

This post is actually 1 post late!! OOPS!! I forgot to check my post count (81 with this post) before posting the last one. So here it is, Ducks from Hawaii!

This first picture is not a duck. It's a swan. I am aware. It was NOT happy that I was taking its picture, and therefore gets special mention in this blog post. This particular swan resides in a pool at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. It is terribly lonely, okay...it scared away any other creature that might cohabitate with it and is therefore all alone in its pool. Should a wayward person or animal get to close, it will attack. After this picture was taken, I backed off so that I could continue my walk. It tracked me until I was no longer within eyesight of its home. It was almost as if it was guarding a nest or something, but I couldn't see one.

This photo was taken towards the end of my trip. (I should just mention now that all these ducks live on the ground of the Hilton Hawaiian Village. That place deserves a blog of its own! AH-MAZING!!) They were just chillin' minding their own business, when I took a picture. Rude, I know. But they're so cute! I can't help it. They look like they're a couple. They make a cute one.

Each time I saw a duck, I thought "wouldn't it be funny if I took a picture and gave it to Jon? Since he is the only person that *truly* understands the "get the duck" lifestyle?" And so I took pictures. I believe the 2 ducks in this picture are the same from the previous.

I've never seen so many red-colored ducks in my life. They're everywhere. They almost look like sun-burned tourists! I did not burn, my mom did not burn. Why? We're freakin-Californian trained, that's why. Except, that we both used to burn. Hmmm, whatever.

I think this duck is contemplating returning to the cool, cool water. I would. Humidity sucks. But love those trade winds and water!

And finally, one of the first duck photos I took. He just looked so happy swimming around in his little pond. Okay, the pond is NOT little. He is though. Cute little duck.

And thus concludes our "Ducks from Hawaii" segment and our 80th (not really, but I'm pretending) post! Remember, a special duck-tastic treat for the 100th post! I hope to get there soon, I have a lot of things to post about. Pictures from Hawaii to put up, and various other things. Like pictures of my nephews....stoned. Not really, but now you're all thinking "hemp milk and stoned nephews....coincidence?" Sometimes my nephews make the STRANGEST faces when I go to snap photos.

Happy Thursday everyone!!

Did I mention my new job?

I got a new job! I start *technically* on November 30, but will be going in tomorrow for some training type stuff.

Go me!

Why so many blogs?

If Megan can do it, so can I!

This One Time, I Was Billie Joe

Billie Joe Armstrong
Lead Singer of Green Day
A lot of people had no clue who I was.
It was disturbing.

A Member the Aristocracy
Andee is so cute.
(She'll be mad I put cute, but she really does look good!)

The Bride of Frankenstein
I guess she's pulling a
Dr. Evil?

These boys seem thrilled to be in a picture
I think Richard might be plotting my death.

Don't ask. I don't know.

Peace Out!
I especially love the cup in his hand...
We might need to talk
to the Bishop

No, it's Not Illegal. I Promise.

I am lactose intolerant. It should all be locked up and kept away from all other food options. It is not to be allowed freedom, it is the source of all our probl....what? That's not what it means? It just means I can't process it? Oh. Okay...

I am lactose intolerant. I don't process dairy like I should. It's not fun, it's painful. Turns out, approximately 30 million American adults have some amount of lactose intolerance by age 20. I am one of 30 million. You are probably one of the 30 million and just haven't realized it.

My sister has heard that Hemp Milk has a more dairy-like consistency. I bought this brand (it was cheap, and had pretty colors) to try. I will update you as soon as I have experimented.

I'm not a huge fan of soy. Not for lack of flavor. The chocolate soy tastes like a fudgesicle. However, we were never permitted regular consumption of chocolate milk. It was a treat. So I can't drink chocolate soy regularly. Vanilla isn't too bad, but I don't want to drink vanilla all the time either. Plain? No thank you. The texture just isn't something I can drink just because.

Vanilla soy is really good on granola and frosted mini-wheats, in case you were wondering. But you probably weren't.

I'm hoping the hemp milk will allow me to enjoy thinks like Cheerios again.

An Open Letter to People with Big Hair

Dear Big Hair People:

I tease. I rat. I hairspray. And yet, I can't get my hair to do what you do. I don't get it. What about the process am I missing? What do you do that I don't do? How do you make your hair look like a square? I don't get it.

I'm not about to start doing this to my hair regularly. But in the off chance that I want to dress as a Utah Mormon for Halloween, these skills become important. I'd like to understand the process it takes to get hair that big (or that square).

I also wonder, what compels you to do this? I personally don't think it looks good. If it doesn't look natural, don't do it! Hair should not double your head size! (It just looks awkward!) But, apparently, you like that their hair looks like this. Guys marry you too, so they must not think it's awful. Or they do and don't care?! Do your personalities make up for the square hair? I don't get it.

Here's what I propose: I need one big haired person (preferably a Utah Mormon - these girls take it to a whole new level) to be my friend. Then we'll take before pictures of both of us. Then you'll do my hair and I'll do your hair. Then we'll take after pictures. These will be posted online for voting. Then maybe (with the help of empirical data) we can stop the big hair phenomenon or embrace it.


15 October 2009

Things I'll Never Say

These are things I'll never say to you.

I like you. I've liked you since I met you. I've tried (successfully) several times to not like you and life's been good during those times. But like all good things, it must come to an end.

Stupid things make me think about you. I can't help it. You push other thoughts out of my head. It's annoying. I was listening to a song the other night. It usually reminds me of my friend. And it did, but then you snuck in. You snuck in and it made me wish I were brave enough to say something. I'm not brave.

Notice me. Pick me. Choose me.

This is an empty plea. You may or may not read this. You may or may not realize it's you. And I'll never tell you it's you. Those who know it's you will never tell you. If they did. I'd kill them. (Let it be known, death by lots of pain and suffering. Think Chaucer in A Knight's Tale "Pain, lots of pain!") I just don't have the guts. So I'll wait for that day that you realize...or the day that someone else comes along and you become an afterthought.

Until that day.

24 September 2009

The Static Age

While at the best concert ever, with the best roommate ever, Billie Joe Armstrong pointed out that the "truth is not out there [in the media] it's in here. It's inside each of [us]." Call me a hippie, but he's right.

I was walking around campus today, and I noticed 5 out of the 6 people I passed were plugged into their iPods. Now, I own an iPod. I have no issue with iPods. Love mine. But unplug from it once in a while. Look at the world around you. Experience LIFE! Talk to the person standing next to you at the candy machines.

When did this generation become so connected to wires and screens that they've lost connection with the real world? It's so disturbing to me.

Unplug. Look around.

22 September 2009

Making BYU a Little Godless

So, my friend is in charge of helping with the LASSO conference coming up this weekend. She was given some information about the plenary speaker for a poster. She was stressed, I decided to help. I designed the poster with the given information.

She took the poster to get approval from our college. They gave it. They stamped the poster and off she went to the printer. The posters were put up. They have been taken down, and we were asked to redesign them.


The poster contained the following sentence: "God, this is so boring." Someone complained about the "inappropriate" use of 'God'. When my friend informed me of this, I said "Oh. My. God. You've got to be kidding me." I did it to be ironic. But seriously? You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. Is someone so uptight that they can't leave scholarly work alone? I hope the plenary speaker uses that sentence and displays it in all of its blasphemous glory.

The college to which we belong told us that even thought they had approved it, they didn't really approve it. So the stamp that says they approve it means nothing.

Instead of being allowed to change the poster to read, "Gosh, this is so boring" or "G , this is so boring" or some other variant of the offensive word, we were asked to make it read "this is so boring." So I did.

Today, I made BYU a little Godless.

09 September 2009

Silence is NOT always Golden

There comes a time when remaining silent would be a grave injustice. We, the authors of this, have reached that point. We can no longer sit silent and watch as people willfully cast lines and demand that we choose sides. We voted for President Barak Obama. We did not make this decision lightly. We researched the issues. We learned all we could. We then prayerfully, sought guidance to make a choice. We feel we made the right choice. Whether we agree(d) 100% with all of his policies we will not disclose. As those are private issues for now. We simply weighed the options and he came out on top. We were raised to support the leader of our country whether we liked him or not. This is NOT to say that we blindly follow a President. For as the Declaration of Independence points out "whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government..." [1] We watch. We listen. We hear. We understand. And then we act. As we are doing now.

Lately, there has been great controversy over the President, our Nation's President, addressing the school children. It has been referred to by acquaintances as "socialist propaganda" and even "communist, socialist, fascist propaganda." Clearly, the latter wanted to make sure their red-flag political parties (so to speak) were covered. This "propaganda" ended up being supported by Laura Bush. [2] Someone, that we think, all people would agree is beholden to none of the above mentioned parties. In his speech President Obama "urged [students] to set high goals, knuckle down in their studies and persevere through failure." [3] It has been our experience, that persevering through failure is something that Americans do well. Thomas Edison failed many hundreds of times before he successfully made a light bulb that worked. Maybe the propaganda came in when President Obama told kids to "take responsibility for their education, go to class and listen and not let failures define them." [4] So where is the propaganda we were promised?

Maybe we missed it, but where ever it is, we've heard the speech, we've read the commentary on it. From both sides. And we have found no fault with it.
We particularly enjoyed when President Obama warned the kids that there is "no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That's no excuse for not trying." [4] Having both worked in the educational system, we can attest to a lack of trying. Repeatedly, we have beat our heads (figuratively) against walls with students that just did not want to put effort into the class. They wanted their hands held, because they felt entitled to it. When students take responsibility for themselves, they excel. Sometimes with effort, and much help that we are willing to give, but they excel.

What in the speech made people afraid? Was it his reminding students to wash their hands? As germophobes, we appreciate this reminder. We simply don't understand what the big deal is. Except, that it seems to be all about party lines. "The uproar over the speech erupted most vigorously, perhaps, in Texas, and some districts there reversed the opt-out procedure: the only students they allowed to watch the president were those whose parents called or e-mailed with explicit permission." [3] (side note from Cynthia: I would have requested that my child be in a classroom showing the speech, if he were in a classroom that was not showing it (had he been in school yet.) As many know, Texas is staunchly a so-called red state. They tend to prefer the Republican party, and our President is not of that party.

Has our country really been reduced to silly party mud-slinging? We had sincere hope that we, as a nation, could overcome such trivial matters as which side of the political spectrum we're on. There are much larger problems and issues to be worried about. Our president talking to school children should not be one. When we become divided over topics like this, we miss the bigger issues at hand, issues that cross party lines and bring the nation together.

In conclusion, remember. All of our presidents -- past, present, and future -- are mere mortals. They are fallible men. They will all make mistakes. They will do things that we collectively look back on and think "what the hell were they thinking?!" But, we’re sure, they try do the best they know how to do. President Obama inherited a lot of problems. He is trying to fix the nation, not hurt the nation. President Bush inherited a lot of problems and did the best he could with the information he had. He was not our favorite president. But he was not the worst. (Side note from Noel: my roommate and I have decided that Harrison was the best president. If you'd like to know why, just ask. I'll explain.) As a nation we have been quick to place blame on our presidents. We need to remember that we share the burden of blame. We have willingly let things happen, and it's time we collectively stood up and started working together for a better tomorrow. And if that means starting with heeding the counsel that was given by our current President to take responsibility for ourselves, then it's time to do so.

We make a plea, alongside our President, that we do better and be better. We are all capable of so much more than we give ourselves (and our children) credit for. All of us (the authors included) need to set a better example for our children then we have over the last few days. Let's come together as a nation and give our children the furture they deserve. One of unity and respect.

Cynthia L. Weyerman
Noël T. Alton

See also:

08 September 2009

Well, slotted pig...*

*this post has nothing to do with pigs.

But it has everything to do with thumbs, and their lack of working for me. Well, one is not working for me so well. And I don't know why. But it's definitely tendon strain...or muscle strain...or nerve aggravation. Definitely one of those things.

That's good to know. At least it has a name(s).

Don't Mock the Ducks

So, I've made a decision. Every 10th post will be about the awesomeness of ducks, and why we should get them. Or in this case, a warning.

Ducks don't like to be mocked. They are very sensitive creatures, who will kick your trash if you mock them. They are sick of being mistaken for less intelligent (or cool, for that matter) foul. They are not anything like swans or Canada geese. They are ducks. They are proud of it.

And as a country singer once said, "you'll be sorry that you messed with the ducks in your way, 'Cause they'll put a boot in your ass --It's the Ducks way." Or at least Toby Keith would have if he'd been cool enough to know that ducks were more hard core than we had previously thought.

So, when getting the ducks, remember: don't mock them. They will not take it laying down.

01 September 2009

Boys + Skinny Jeans = Gay

It's a simple enough equation. And, boys? I hate to break it to you, but it's true. When I see you walking around campus, the store, whatever...and you're sporting the skinny jean, I will automatically label you as gay. That's just how it is. The exception to this rule: emo boys. If you pull off the full emo-look, I will not pass gay-judgment on you. I will think something like, "that person looks like an idiot" or "they think they're all angsty, but I know better" or even, "why is he wearing girl pants?." But not "oh, that boy is gay."

And for heaven's sake! Do NOT pair it with a tight shirt. That just labels you as a flaming gay boy. Okay? Seriously, leave skinny jeans for the women. (Whom, I might argue shouldn't wear them either.) Or for Billie Joe Armstrong. (He is not distinctly straight, and thus pulls them off with gusto. I may have a (massive) crush on him.)

So to review:

boy + skinny jeans = gay
boy + skinny jeans + tight shirt = flaming gay
billie joe armstrong + skinny jeans = pretty darn hot (I can't help myself.)

For the love of all things good in life, STOP WEARING SKINNY JEANS BOYS!

Also, I've been noticing (first day back to school and all) that the current styles look like they may have been based on dares. Girls, please explain these things to me. Three BRIGHT, UNMATCHED colors in large amounts? When did this start to be "fashionable"? Skirts that look like bags? Or are gathered in at the bottom, but poofy otherwise? And what is with the sandal/shoe combinations? Either buy sandals or buy shoes, not halfbreeds. Alas....

18 July 2009

At Least They Have Free WiFi

My mom and I are flying to Hawaii today....correction. She is flying. I'm sitting. Waiting to fly. Our flights were supposed to be about 30 minutes apart from each other. As I'm finding out that my flight is delayed indefinitely due to mechanical issues, her flight is taxing to the runway. Now, mind you...the airline I was originally flying knew we were delayed an hour earlier. But no one showed up at the help desk before we were supposed to be boarding. And no one said anything. And I missed my chance to get switched to my mom's flight.

I'm now on a Delta flight. That leaves 4 hours after my original flight. Thank goodness for my laptop, free internet and movies.

26 June 2009

Now, We Know What Righteousness Smells Like...

...cheap lotion from a dollar store.

So, my amazing sister-in-law bought me the BEST. LOTION. EVER.


That's right. Jesus lotion. It's pretty much the best thing ever. I love it. I'm so not going to wear it, so that I can embarrass people with it later. :D

Below, are some close ups of the amazing lotion.

Shouldn't it smell like wood?
I mean, he was a carpenter.

It softens and dazzles so you can
look your Sunday best.
Oh, and it Christens your skin for a heavenly glow.

I think she's rubbing her boobs on him!

Get tight with him? Hmmmmm...

Um....that's what she said!

Best. Sister-in-Law. Ever.

15 June 2009

Because it's the 65 post, and I can

Well, as you all know, my blog address has the phrase get the duck in it. Pretty interesting name. I have explained where the name came from. And now you know why getting the duck is so important.

Without ducks, life would be meaningless. It would be sadder, not nearly as full and exciting.

So always, always, always get the duck.

21 May 2009

The Sharpie Pen Affair

The Sharpie Pen is here, and it's amazing. I love it. I promise you it does not bleed through or anything. I have been silently hoping that Sharpie would solve the bleeding issue and create a pen that would be perfection in my hand. It has finally happened. I bought a set at WalMart over the weekend, I didn't truly believe that it would work. I have been burned before by Sharpie and their promise of no bleeding. So it was with trepidation (and excitement) that I wrote a note on my handy Post-It notes. I flipped it over, there was no bleed through! My dreams were now reality. Life was complete. Until I realized, that I only had one in blue. So today, whilst buying office supplies for my desk at school, I bought the four pack. I'm in heaven.

I know the skeptical feeling you're currently experiencing. You must think I'm insane. But it works!

Sharpie fans rejoice!

I'm Glad I'm not a Lesbian

Not that I have anything against those that are. It's just, I was reminded tonight of why I'm glad I'm not dating girls. I like being friends with girls, but I'd never want more than that.

I'm just going to come out and say it: Girls = drama. Holy cow. Most of the "girls" I have as friends are very low drama, but every once in awhile a high drama girl sneaks in unseen....until the drama strikes. And then, it's too late. You're invested in the relationship. You can't get out, even if you want to.

I have a friend, I've known for years!! But she is high drama all the time now. She wasn't at first, or I just didn't notice it. But I don't call her, or text her often anymore. Because? It's all about boys when I call her. He didn't do this, or she's not getting asked out. Blah!! I don't mind doing the requisite boy discussion, but not as the only thing we communicate about! I'm in school. I know you don't care about that because you didn't choose college, but my paper getting accepted at a conference is a pretty big deal. I don't appreciate that you brush it aside because YOU want to talk about the boy drama in your life. That? Is why I don't call you often.

I'm sure I create my own fair share of drama, I know it happens. We're girls, it follows us. But I don't need other girls always being in drama mode.

I'm glad I'm a girl and get to spend my life with a guy. And to all the boys out there, I'm sorry.

04 May 2009

Re: I <3 gromit

Recently, I wrote a quick blog about a General Conference talk that I had loved. (And by recently, I mean...it was my last post. I've neglected posting.) My friend, gromit, asked me to clarify why this talk had meant so much to me. Since I think she's pretty awesome, and I had intended to anyway...here it is.

As I was listening to it, my "duh" moment came when he said "doubt is not a principle of the gospel." My bishop and I have been going rounds on this issue. I never doubted that God would come through in the end. I doubted that I would live up to my end of the deal. I doubted my ability to make my life what He knows it can be. I doubted everything about me. It's what I do. As a recovering anorexic...of the perfectionist realm...I constantly think that I'm falling short of the mark. When I heard Elder Pearson say "doubt is not a principle of the gospel" I suddenly KNEW what my bishop had been saying all along. My bishop knew I didn't doubt in the Lord (I hope), but he was trying to tell me that by doubting myself I still wasn't exercising faith. And since that sentence was uttered...my doubts have all but vanished. It was that sentence that I needed to hear, in that setting. It made all the difference in the world.

Elder Pearson makes the claim that faith comes as a result of obedience. He made the comparison to a chemical reaction. If you put in obedience, you get out faith. I think what he meant (at least what I got out of it is) that we don't always know why we are to do certain things, but when we do them our faith increases as we see the benefits that come from doing this. I do not believe in blind obedience. I believe that we are all entitled to answers when it comes to how to live our lives. But part of getting that answer relies on the act of obediently living the principle to see if it comes up with anything good. We are told that we'll know if something is good by the fruits that it bears. So if our obedience to something brings about good things, then it is good and our faith is increased. I don't think there is a direct correlation between obedience and faith; no algebraic equation that can be set up for it. Faith comes in many ways, but one way is through obedience. I think it's like listening to your parents about some things. We (as children) don't understand why we must look both ways before crossing a street when they first tell us we have to. They may say things like "you'll get hit by a car," but we don't understand that until the day that we forget to look and almost get hit by a car. (This is just one example that may or may not be true for everyone...but there are many other possibilities...think about it.) However, we listen to our parents when they tell us these things, and we follow through trusting their wisdom. Until one day when we are granted understanding about why they told us these things. We gain faith in them. More than we had before when we were just being obedient. And, we may only gain knowledge in one thing (I almost go hit...mom and dad were right about looking both ways...they must be right about everything else!), but it's applicable to more things.

Again, I'm not advocating blind obedience. We can still pray, you know. We are entitled to personal revelation. (Blasphemous! I know. But, it's true. We can. -- it's actually surprising to me that some people don't know this. Remind me to blog about it at some other time.) However, He sometimes doesn't give us an answer to things, wanting to test our obedience. He will then always show us, in some way, that the thing we're obediently doing is right. And then our faith increase because we have invested something into the faith process. If we just sit around saying "I have faith that He's right...." or whatever, and we never exercise that faith by doing something that we're unsure of, then we don't really have faith.

The other point is that faith and fear can not coexist. This can seem counter-intuitive. Sometimes we have to do things that we are afraid of for the faith to come. But this "fear" is different from my fear of spiders, of jumping off cliffs when I can't see the water, of drowning...whatever. It's okay to be scared and unsure. These are normal. I still think you can have faith and be afraid of having to live on it. Take my sister for example. Her husband has just started a new job. One that can bring in plenty of money, but one that's base salary only covers their mortgage. She's afraid of how they'll make ends meet if he doesn't bring in more than the base salary, but she knows that he was supposed to take this job. It felt like the right thing, and all the pieces have fallen into place so far. She's still worried/scared/afraid. But she has faith it'll work out. Our brains aren't wired to be completely fear-free. The trick to faith is not being ruled by the fear. When we let fear dominate our life, faith has no place. But when we are actively trying to live with faith, the fear that we feel is normal human emotion. And it does not replace our faith. It'll ultimately help increase our faith. Doing things that leave us frightened does make it so we have to rely on Him to be sustained. Thus, our faith increases. Not doing things because we are frightened by them, leaves us relying on ourselves and not Him. Thus, fear rules our life and our faith decreases.

We can choose to live a life of fear and doubt, or we can choose to live a life of faith. It is an active choice. I doubt my abilities less, but I still have to choose to live without the doubt I had. It still tries to creep in. And I choose to live with faith that I am doing the right thing. I am capable of the life He wants for me. I don't know everything that entails...but I'm certain that it'll be for my benefit.

I hope this clarifies why I liked the talk...