17 December 2007

Hi, I'm Earth, have we met?

First off: 10 points to anyone that can finish the title quote.

Story time:

Saturday night, I was laying in my bed reading my camera's user manual. (Yes, I read those...they teach you wicked cool things to do with your camera!!) It was a little after midnight and I should have been sleeping, but I wasn't quite yet. As I'm reading about my color add feature (or whatever it's called...you basically have a black and white photo, but it'll keep one color in the shot) when I heard some dishes falling in our sink upstairs. I turned the volume down on my TV, but didn't hear anything else...so I just figured that our dishes hadn't been stacked well.

The next morning, my roommate told me that our dishes had been stacked just fine (well, that seems more logical as we are careful about our dish stacking), but that our dish soap had fallen into the sink. Oh wait, that's right...her CRAZY ex boyfriend had decided to climb through our kitchen window to see her, and knocked it into the sink. I always forget that part...

Yeah, you read that right, CRAZY ex boyfriend climbed through our kitchen window. She chewed him out about it, and I guess this morning he called her and asked her if we were all still mad about it. Um, let me think about that ... YES! I'm still beyond livid. In what world does a person think that's okay? I mean, breaking into an apartment full of single girls? Yeah, totally kosher. I shouldn't be upset at all. Not only did he freak me out, but he woke another roommate up. His reason: roommate wasn't answering her phone/was ignoring him tapping on the window. Hello, get the hint, lame-o.

So weekend recap: Crazy ex boyfriend breaks into our house, scares us shitless, and he can't understand why.

12 December 2007

Part of my Language-Loving Soul Died Today

Devastating News

Part of my soul died today. My cousin sent me this link today, that took me to the most devastating news. "w00t" is the word of the year, according to Merriam-Webster. I'm sadly disappointed in the rising generation. MW bases their candidates for this "prestigious" award, on the most searched for words. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of language creation, but to what extent? The only comforting fact, in the article, is Global Language Monitor's list. "Hybrid" topped their list, thankfully.

This leads to interesting questions. Do I say that "google" is a verb, but not "facebook"? And if I can facebook someone, can I "myspace" someone? If not, why? In the spirit of understanding the rising generation, I've gone to urbandictionary.com to see what the Word of the Day. Today's is w00t. Interesting...I wonder if that's just a coincidence, or if they chose that word based on the MW findings? Yesterday's word: "wi-five," or "a high five that doesn't involve actually contact, normally over a long distance where a real high-five isn't possible." They further explain that it's a combination of "wireless" and "high-five." I'm glad they explained that, I'd have never understood. Monday's word is even better, it's "compunicate" or "When you are in the same room with someone, each on separate computers, and you talk via Instant Messenger instead of speaking to them out loud, in person." I've done that. I admit that I'm guilty of compunicating.

It's interesting to see what is being created. Maybe there is hope for the world, but when words like "w00t" earn the word of the year title, it makes you wonder...

04 December 2007

To Talk Or Not To Talk....

...that is the question.

I've been told twice this week, that I *perhaps* talk to my sister too much. What is too much?! She's my best friend, one shouldn't live without their best friend. I can't help it if graduate school has forced us miles apart! That's why cell phones were invented, to keep people connected. I don't think my sister and I talk too much. She calls me on her way to work in the mornings, and on her way home in the evenings. That's only twice a day. Sure there are times that I'll see something in the store, or hear something on the radio, and I call her to tell her about it. She does the same. But when she's your best friend, who else are you going to call?!

The first instance of being told I talk to my sister "too much" came in the form of my cousin. My sister called me last night (Monday) to talk to me. It was a quick conversation, I don't remember the content, but I'm sure it was mostly important. (Our conversations tend to be mostly important...at least to us....) After I finished the conversation (it lasted maybe a minute...just a quick question and answer moment) he started telling my roommates about the content of my conversations with my sister. It went something like this:

"Yeah, Cynthia will call and be like "Oh my gosh!! I just saw a tree...just had to tell you, bye!!" And then, like not even five minutes later, she'll call again. This time it's "Oh! Did I tell you the leaves on the tree were yellow....must be the time of year. Ok! Bye!" And that's their phone conversation. I don't get it"

My roommates all laughed, of course. I swear, it's not that bad. So what that we have more mobile to mobile minutes used than most people would think humanly possible? (This is looking at only her mobile to mobile minutes used. I'm pretty much the ONLY Cingular user that she calls. I use more mobile to mobile because my roommates all have Cingular.) This is why we bought the phones in the first place.

Then today, I was looking at my friend's phone in class. My sister has decided to switch to Verizon, as all her in-laws use Verizon. Therefore, I HAVE to switch to Verizon. I'm very particular about my phones (They have to look good, you can't just have something stupid. I'm sorry, I'm a snob.) and her phone was rather cute, so I was suddenly optimistic that I could, indeed, find a decent phone from Verizon. (Most I've seen are rather large and clunky looking.) Well, my professor overheard our exchange, so I explained the situation, because he thought I'd been sucked in by the 'network guy' and I had to justify myself. (Obviously...) He too ascertained that my sister and I talk too much. No amount of persuading could change the opinion.

Honestly, we don't talk that much. She's just my best friend. I'm her best friend. There's nothing wrong with that. And as she put it today, "nobody gets us like we get each other. I can't call my husband and get the same response, he just doesn't get it."

09 November 2007

Please don't feed the coworkers...

This is a blog I've been meaning to write for a bit now. But today, I got new information that'll make this blog sing! (Guaranteed to sing, or your money back! Act now, this offer won't last.)

So, as many of you out there know, I'm 25. And I know that's not old, but I feel old when my coworkers start singing along to Hannah Montana. Seriously? Hannah Montana? You have to be kidding me. They are in their early twenties, and they love her. What's not to love? She has AMAZING lyrics, and HUGE musical talent...okay, I can't believe I just typed those phrases. But that's what they tell me. Let's look at some of her lyrics, shall we?

You go to movie premiers (is that Orlando Bloom?)
Hear your songs on the radio, woah,
Livin' two lives is a little weird, yeah
But school's cool cause nobody knows

Yeah you get to be a small town girl
But big time when you play your guitar

You get the best of both worlds
Chill it out, take it slow
Then you rock out the show

I hope I never have to read her lyrics again...it's impossible to choose the worst lyrics, because they all suck. So she goes to premiers and maybe see Orlando Bloom. She hears her songs on the radio (funny, I've never heard any HM songs on the radio...oh wait, that's because she's ONLY on radio Disney. Got it.). It's weird living two lives, but it's all good cuz no one at school knows. And does HM play a guitar? I'll admit I've seen the show twice, in an effort to understand the obsession, but I don't remember any guitar playing by her. I think my favorite line is "chill it out, take it slow." That's obviously stellar song writing there, what is this "it" she's talking about? Are the horrible lyrics really her fault? Well, she agrees to sing them, so yes. She may not write them, but she DOES choose to sing them.

How does this relate to my coworkers? I've heard the "you get the beeeeeest of both worlds" chorus about a million times in the last few weeks. And I got to listen to them gush over how she'd added a show here in Utah. (OH MY GOSH!! It's like Christmas!) And I got to hear the story of Taren camping out for tickets, and then Megan was "so jealous." Seriously? There are bands I'd camp out for, but HM is DEFINITELY NOT on that list.

Then this morning, I'm talking to my friend and she starts telling me about her coworker Kellie Levek (name has been misspelled to protect the guilty's identity). Kellie likes to dress in "themes." Today's theme was Lindsay Lohan. Maybe leggings and a nice "dress length" shirt wouldn't be so bad except that Kellie has been through the Temple, and leggings "show her religion," so to speak. Then she topped the outfit off with leopard print heels. She's in Boise, not Hollywood, first of all. And second of all, even if she were in Hollywood it wouldn't be a good idea to wear this outfit. (Did I mention the leggings were black and the shirt grey? How does THAT work with leopard print!?) My friend has also seen Kellie dress like a French Mime, complete with pale make-up. I know, I know...

Speaking of Kellie's make-up foibles, she has "plucked one too many times" and is now officially browless. That's right no eyebrows. So she pencils them in everyday. Each day is a little different. One day she has nice thin eyebrows that look mostly normal and other days she has thin eyebrows that look hideous. Today, she went for a "bushy" look. I hear it looks beyond hideous. What's beyond hideous....appalling, dreadful, frightful, ghastly (I like that one!), macabre - maybe - revolting, and so on.

The other thing that gets me about coworker Kellie (coming soon to a store near you "Coworker Kellie." She'll annoy Working Mom Barbie so much that Barbie will burn dinner!) is that she's taken pictures of all her clothes and then puts together power point slides of possible outfits. I guess her dream is to have a computer program similar to Cher's on Clueless...now there's a goal.

So please, don't feed the coworkers, as the zoo keepers need to make sure they have the proper diet so they'll continue to entertain us for years to come.

19 October 2007

JFF = Just Friends Forever

When it rains, it pours. And if it's not pouring you're in a drought. I usually apply this statement to an over abundance of boys pursuing an individual girl. However, this blog will deal with the eternal question that plagues everyone at time of breakup and that is the "can exes be friends questions." First, though I want to point out that, there are no definites in the world of relationships, just speculation. Boys will be boys, and there's nothing we can do about it.

Let's start with me and my most recent ex. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing that I've ever experienced in the world of dating. It's not easy knowing that a person you're in love with, is no longer a part of your life in the way you'd planned. We had several rocky months. We fought about the stupidest things, and when we weren't fighting, we weren't exactly friends either...if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The point is, that we still had intense feelings for each other with no outlet to express them. So we fought and stayed in a limbo between together and not together for several months. Then I left for school. Now, we are friends. I still have feelings for him, as my sister pointed out the other day: "you never forget your first love. They're always part of you." I'll admit, our relationship is NOT an easy one. We have had a hard time remembering that we are "just friends" and not together. And we are still figuring out how to be "just friends," but we're getting there and he is a friend.

Through this whole time, I've had many people tell me that this was an impossibility, and I believed them...at times, and did try to cut myself off completely from him. But you can't force what you don't feel. I had to let it just happen naturally; I think that's where the naysayers get their "it'll never work" mentality from. They try to force it to work, and so it fails. When left to it's own devices friendships work themselves out.

I'm not an isolated case. I guarantee that. I was going to talk about my friend Megan. (Yes, you, Robin.) But her "friendship after break up" is turning back into a "we're together, so back off boys" status. These two were friends though. He's just being stupid, and I'd like to tell him that....but we're NOT in junior high. Let him suffer through not having the most AMAZING girl on this earth. He'll come around (and he is...slowly...stupid boys!) They still help to prove my point, because they are still friends, and they keep the friend's boundary. They'll get it figured out. I have faith in them.

05 October 2007

What's with Today, today?

Okay, so it's Friday night, and I'm sitting at home, alone. LAME! I know. But this is how things work when you're 25 years old and getting a Master's in Provo, UT. I'm a social pariah. 25 and unmarried isn't nearly so bad if you're male, but you have to be male. Fortunately, I'm not male. I'm a girl. Which makes this situation 100x worse. *sighs* If I was a guy I'd have more control over this "sitting at home being lame" thing. I know what you're thinking, "it's the 21st century! Go ask a guy out yourself!" But I can't. As independent as my daddy raised me to be, I am a traditionalist at heart. The guy asks the girl out. Until of course they have established themselves as a couple then it's totally kosher for the girl to ask the guy to do things.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not lamenting the lack of a guy in my life, honestly. I'm more trying to point out the idiocracy of the BYU sub-culture. In Boise, I never would have felt lame for being at home, never would have felt out of place for being a single 25 year old female. But in land of a million marriages, it's hard to not feel like an outcast when you yourself are among the unwed. I'm totally down with the single life. I like only having to look out for moi-même. A Master's degree is time consuming. I have so much reading to do for research and classes...it's out of control!! But I have wandered off the beaten path.

BYU sub-culture. The rules of these people go something like this:
  1. Marriage is your primary goal, school secondary.
    • Girls should be married no later than 21.
      • As this is the age most boys are coming back from missions...no boy will want an older girl, right?!
    • Boys should be married no later than 25.
      • Seriously, if you're not married by then, you're wasting time. The 25 age already gives them 2 years of slacking...should be married by 23...sheesh...get it together!
  2. Girls should spend minimum of 2 hours getting ready for the day.
    • Hair needs to be properly teased into place...seen the movie Hairspray? Not such an unrealistic portrayal...
    • Make-up? Should look like a professional did it. No facial flaws allowed.
  3. Clothing, if it's not name-brand brand new this season, you're out of style.
    • Can we say Ambercrombie and Fitch? Oh and don't get me started on the Banana Bandwagon...
      (The only time it's acceptable to not be perfectly put together is if you're going for the "surfer"/"skater" looks...but these can only be done with the most expensive line of such clothing...no cheapies here either)
  4. Dating shouldn't last longer than 3 months.
    • Apparently, you'll know after just 3 months of having known the person (because heaven forbid! you be friends first) whether you want to marry them or not.
    • Word of caution: DTR does not equal "define the relationship" it does, however, equal "destroy the relationship." There are very few exceptions to this rule.
  5. Engagements should not last longer than 2 months.
    • Anything longer and you're being ridiculous. I mean, cheap, Mormon wedding dresses are so easy to go buy off the rack. But make sure you don't have sensitive skin, the cheap fabric WILL make you itch... (ew, ew, ew! I'll NEVER buy a Mormon wedding dress...only Teri Alton originals for me!)
I think I'll leave it at those 5 for now. There are more, so I know there will be an update to come. But I'm sick of delving into the twisted workings of the BYU sub-culture for tonight. We'll see, I have a lot of lame Friday nights ahead of me...full of fun reading! (Or maybe, I'll get lucky and some fine, BYU specimen will finally ask me out! Be still, my beating heart....)

26 September 2007

Semantics = Sick, Dead, Stoned

So, as you know, from my last blog, I'm a Master's student. I'm currently enrolled in a class called Semantics. What that is, doesn't really matter, what matters is that I've never had so much fun in a class! Whoever said that master's classes were hard, was lying! They're the best. You get to sit around with other nerds, like yourself and talk about really fun stuff. Trust me, it's fun stuff. :) One day while discussing signifiers and signfieds, my teacher started drawing little faces on the board to represent different emotions. He put up "angry," "sick," "dead," and so on. This exercise was a way to show that these emotions were linked in some way, but by minor differences they are completely different emotions. I don't quite remember how the "stoned" face got on the board, but it did. He then pointed out that the faces of "sick," "dead," and "stoned" were quite similar in depiction and the motto of "sick, dead, stoned" was born. We all decided we had to be one of these three things, to pick such a major as Linguistics and then subject ourselves to years more in school, just to beat our heads against a proverbial wall in order to get a thesis written. And, as Dr. Manning so kindly points out, there is no point...let me emphasize that...NO POINT to writing a thesis. Except to graduate. That's it. Period.

No one in the real world cares about this paper that we labor over with such diligence. We take abuse from our committees on the paper's flaws and we fix them, and then we just have to sit there and defend our work to them. If they don't like our thesis, we don't graduate. That's all there is to it. After our thesis is accepted and we get another piece of paper on our walls. And with any luck, we get the dream job, or another 3-5 years of research to add three little letters to the end of our names.

It's not all bad, I don't mind writing a "worthless" research paper. I really don't, not when I get to go to classes and learn about things that fascinate me. I love my Semantics class, and can't wait to go. The time flies when I'm there. It's great. In fact, Dr. Manning has even bought us all lunch. (Payback for our 20 minutes worth of tuition that he "stole" from us by being 20 minutes late to class one day.) And he's always willing to explain things to us. We've even discussed such shows as "M*A*S*H" and "Friends" in the pursuit of understanding the concepts. (Btw, analysis of the characters in such shows as "Friends" and "Will and Grace" will be the topic *hopefully* of an upcoming, publishable article by your's truly.)

24 September 2007

Flaming Liberal and Rabid Republicans

So here's the situation. I am a Liberal Idahoan (I know, it seems counterintuitive), and I'm currently attending Brigham Young University as a Master's student. From one Red state to the next...I know. Shoot me. It's not that bad really. I don't mind being in the minority, in fact, I can now play (and sing along to) Green Day's Minority with some appreciation for the reality of it. Down with the "moral" majority! But I digress.

As an under grad at BYU (you'd think they'd have learned and not let me back in...silly people!) I took a class that led to a discussion on Noam Chomsky and his linguistic beliefs. The TA asked us "What do you know about Chomsky?" At any other university the first response probably would have sounded something like, "he thought he knew what he was talking about, but new research shows that he was off the mark." Not at BYU. The first thing anyone said was "he's a flaming liberal" it was all down hill from there. Now, Chomsky's theories have all but been disproven, but what does his political affiliation have to do with anything? Nothing. Made me think....can other things be flaming? Or just liberals? Without be too un-politically correct, there are a few other things that can be. Most of them are more commonly associated with "left-wing" politics, but can conservatives be flaming conservatives?

For the rest of the year, my classmates and I set out to call everything we could "flaming." After recent events in my life, I've decided that Democrats are indeed "flaming liberals" and our dear friends on the right are simply "rabid Republicans." I won't go into the details of my past few run-ins with such types, because they're really great people and I love them anyway. Suffice it to say, that one against 3 (or more) is never a fun place to be....well, okay...maybe I enjoyed it. I can't help it. When I find people of the Rabid Republican type that actually know what they're talking about, this Flaming Liberal likes to argue. It doesn't happen often around here. Most people think they're Republican simply because that's what their parents are and what their grandparents were. No other reason. These last few encounters have been with well educated and informed RRs and I don't mind the discussions they brought up. I doubt we'll ever see eye to eye, but we can be friends, right?

29 May 2007

Get The Duck...

So, I realize the picture is that of a Canada Goose. I know this. But some people don't. Shocking, I know. But it's true. People are dumb. That's all there is to it. Just plain dumb.

One day, I was having a picnic with my friend, Jon. We'd driven up to Lucky Peak on our lunch break. We had finished eating and were just enjoying the beautiful weather, when we were joined by a family. We watched them fall out of their Suburban and continued to watch them get the little girl ready to play in the water.

After putting on their little girl's water shoes, the girl started to head off towards the lake. The mom called after her "get the duck, honey, get the duck." Jon and I hadn't noticed any ducks around, so we followed the direction the girl was running until we saw a goose. Not a duck, a goose. Needless to say, we collapsed in a fit of laughter. It became an inside joke between us, and we have now spread the "get the duck" phenomenon onto our other friends.