Thank you, dear friend. You totally made my day...make that life!
The meeting was more than I could have hoped for. We talked about how it's hard to be a single adult in the Church.
I'm not talking in-college-single-adult. I'm talking career-holding-single-adult over the age of about 25. Up until then, singleness is tolerated fairly well. At my age, it's looked on with pity, uncertainty, and even disdain. (Not by all, but all three have been directed towards me in one way or another.)
People like me are given advice:
- Well, if you just did ..... I bet you'd find a guy.
- You know I bet it's because guy's find you ..... so if you were less ..... I bet you'd find a guy.
- You can be a mom too, we're meant to be nurturers and you can nurture without being married and having your own kids!
Anyway, I digress. The Elder I met with, told me that he agrees that the plight of the singles isn't great. That the Church once upon a time had a council who's sole purpose in being was to make sure our needs were being addressed and taken care of. This council hasn't existed in about over 30 years. He'd like to see it reinstated. I would too.
We talked about how I feel it's harder to be female and single in the Church. (I'm not trying to minimize the plight of the single men, I promise.) You see, there's a difference in what the young men are taught and what the young women are taught. Go ahead, do a quick comparison. I'll wait.....
See? We are taught, as young women when we are most impressionable, that we are only meant to marry and have babies and be great home makers. There are a few lessons on choosing vocations, getting educations, being independent...but we all know that we won't need those lessons. We're to be wives! mothers! and we'll rock at it.
Until it doesn't happen.
I pointed out this discrepancy to the Elder, and he said "that scope is much too narrow! I agree with you."
He wants me to talk to the Relief Society General President about my current situation. (And others like me.) He wants me to talk to the Priesthood leader who leads the council over the Primary, Young Men, Young Women, Relief Society, Elder's Quorum about possibly changing the curriculum to be more inclusive...without diminishing our divine roles.
He's asked me to sit down and figure out what I would have liked to have been taught, now with hindsight in my favor. And present that to those who can make a difference.
I can't even tell you what this feels like. Some emotions: nervous, happy, scared, ecstatic, joy, terror, freedom, validation, vindication..........
I feel like God is smiling down on me. Like He is opening up a path to me that I couldn't have dreamed of walking down. It's as if He is saying, "look, this is why you've done all you've done and why things were the way they were. I needed you to do this."
But most of all. I feel like my grandma is proud of me.
I miss you Grandma. This is for you.