Feelings

No one who reads this has to agree with what I'm about to say. Even though I am *really* smart, and consider my research and conclusion to be indisputable fact, that's my opinion. No one has to have the same opinion. That's the beauty of life, right? So...that being said, here goes:

Today's rulings from the Supreme Court (SCOTUS) are exactly what they should have been.*

The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was found to be unconstitutional. Meaning, all marriages in states that recognize same-sex marriages will have equal protections under Federal Law. SCOTUS left the marriage debate up to states, upholding State's rights. This is how it should be. State's rights should be upheld. However, Federal laws shouldn't punish people who are adhering to their state's laws.

Example,

This couple can now be together, permanently. Provided, the green card comes through...which it now can, thanks to the DOMA ruling.

Proposition 8 was punted back down and the lower courts were slapped on the hands.** SCOTUS said that the defenders of Prop 8 in the appeal (who were private parties, not government representatives) had no standing to defend it. They further said, that it wasn't a federal decision and the state needed to work it out. This means that gay marriage *can* resume in California. Again, SCOTUS upheld the state's right to decide marriage. California's history is a bit muddy and hard to follow on this issue. Gay marriage was passed, then it wasn't, then it was, then it wasn't...(simplified history, of course).

Bottom line: now, it is.

Getting to these happy rulings from SCOTUS was a good thing, but doesn't entirely make up for the fact that they overturned the Voting Rights Act. I get *why* they ruled the way the ruled there, but that doesn't mean that I agree they did the right thing there. We will have to see how it plays out. I did not follow that ruling as closely as I should have. So I will make no real opinion-type statements.

Finally, Texas. Wendy Davis. Holy cow. Give that woman a cookie (read: medal). She filibustered her little heart out. And though she failed, she didn't lose the battle. The abortion bill died. Good work, Wendy, you're my hero.

All in all, today is a good day for me and my heart. My heart is full of happiness for my fellow people. I haven't been this happy since November when Maryland passed gay marriage protection. I voted for that, and I cried when it passed. I was *so* happy. Words weren't sufficient to express how it made me feel. Today, I am experiencing those same happy emotions.

To all my LGBTQ friends: Hurrah! One step at a time, until equal rights for all.




___
*Ideally, they would have said "Hey, gay marriage nationwide!" But that is not what was ever going to happen, and I think that we have the best outcome today for many reasons.

**That's the lay-person wording.

Parents

I've been thinking lots of thoughts on parents this weekend. With good reason. A very dear set of friends lost their mother(-in-law) this weekend. I can not even process what that feels like.

Growing up, I was jealous of people who had four grandparents, because I only had three. Three amazing people who loved me. I am down to one grandparent. He's simply amazing, and I hope he never dies...okay, truth? I hate to see him living alone without my grandmother. If ever a two were meant to be, these two were. (Not that my other grandparents weren't, because they totally were.)

Losing grandparents sucks.

It must suck worse to lose a parent.

I have two of the greatest parents in the world. They're my best friends. We weren't always best friends; in fact, my mother and I fought more frequently than I care to admit when I was a teenager. But she is (and always was, I was just too much a teenager to see it) the best mom anyone could hope for.

Parents have three main roles (the way I see it):

• First, they're your protector and teacher (when you're a kid). They do everything for you during this time, all the while teaching you what you need to know for later.
• Second, they're your biggest nightmare (when you're a teenager). They're the bad guy always stopping you from doing that really fun thing that could get you "killed." 
• Third, they become your best friend (when you're an adult). This happens because you look back over your life and realize that all those times you thought they were being mean, they were really saying "I love you too much to watch you be stupid." They were teaching you to be you.

At least, that's how my parents were. 

Not everyone is so lucky, I know. Some people have very different relationships with their parents.

But no matter what kind of parent they've been, it still sucks to lose one. 

This weekend I cried a bit to myself as I thought about my friends and what they must be feeling. Then I thought about my own parents and what I would feel if it were me losing one of them, and my heart broke for my friends. I wish I could be there with them during this time

So I say this to all my friends who have lost a parent:

I'm sorry. I am here for you no matter what you need. I can't say I know what it feels like, because I don't. But I know what loss feels like, and I can sit and listen to the tears any time you need me to. 

To my friends who have most recently lost, know that I am thinking of you and sending prayers to your whole family. I'm here however you need me. 

Lots of love.

Noël