Growing up, I was jealous of people who had four grandparents, because I only had three. Three amazing people who loved me. I am down to one grandparent. He's simply amazing, and I hope he never dies...okay, truth? I hate to see him living alone without my grandmother. If ever a two were meant to be, these two were. (Not that my other grandparents weren't, because they totally were.)
Losing grandparents sucks.
It must suck worse to lose a parent.
I have two of the greatest parents in the world. They're my best friends. We weren't always best friends; in fact, my mother and I fought more frequently than I care to admit when I was a teenager. But she is (and always was, I was just too much a teenager to see it) the best mom anyone could hope for.
Parents have three main roles (the way I see it):
- First, they're your protector and teacher (when you're a kid). They do everything for you during this time, all the while teaching you what you need to know for later.
- Second, they're your biggest nightmare (when you're a teenager). They're the bad guy always stopping you from doing that really fun thing that could get you "killed."
- Third, they become your best friend (when you're an adult). This happens because you look back over your life and realize that all those times you thought they were being mean, they were really saying "I love you too much to watch you be stupid." They were teaching you to be you.
At least, that's how my parents were.
Not everyone is so lucky, I know. Some people have very different relationships with their parents.
But no matter what kind of parent they've been, it still sucks to lose one.
This weekend I cried a bit to myself as I thought about my friends and what they must be feeling. Then I thought about my own parents and what I would feel if it were me losing one of them, and my heart broke for my friends. I wish I could be there with them during this time
So I say this to all my friends who have lost a parent:
I'm sorry. I am here for you no matter what you need. I can't say I know what it feels like, because I don't. But I know what loss feels like, and I can sit and listen to the tears any time you need me to.
To my friends who have most recently lost, know that I am thinking of you and sending prayers to your whole family. I'm here however you need me.
Lots of love.