15 December 2011

You might be a grad student if....

  1. ...you can identify universities by their internet domains.
    •  Who can't?
  2.  ...you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels. 
    • I'm not a huge novel person, unless there is something interesting in them. So....yes....
  3. ...you have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
    •  this is why I enjoy Jen Lancaster, she does footnotes.
  4.  ...you understand jokes about Foucoult. 
    •  I'd rather not comment.
  5. ...the concept of free time scares you. 
    •  What is this "free time" of which you speak?
  6. ...you consider caffeine to be a major food group
    •  HECK YES!!
  7. ....you've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
    •  Done, and done.
  8. ...Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
    •  Never did seem weird.
  9. ...the professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway. 
    •  Have done this, many times.
  10. ...you've ever travelled across two state lines specifically to go to a library. 
    •  Does InterLibrary loan count?
  11. ...you appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which* twenty hours out of the day you have to work.
    •  Yes, some days working all night was the only time I had to work. Then 4 hours of sleep was a luxury.
  12. ...you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it).
    •  I got over this one really fast.
  13. ...you can read course books and cook at the same time.
    •  Often to the detriment of my food, but not too often.
  14. ...you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
    •  Doesn't everyone? I mean, this is just common courtesy, right?
  15. ...you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.
    •  I'm in Utah, it did snow during Spring Bre....wait, I didn't get one.
  16. ...you've ever worn out a library card.
    •  Yes, I have. I maxed out my limit of books regularly. They shouldn't limit grad students to 50 books. Really? It's like they don't understand. (Someone overrode this for me, once.)
  17. ...you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
    •  You have to get fresh air at some point!
  18. ...you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
    •  Um.....no comment....
  19. ...you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
    •  You guys read my blog. I'm sure you're not surprised that I've done this.*
  20. ...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
    •  Yes. Yes, I can.
  21. ...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
    •  During my thesis writing? Yes. It was.
  22. ...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
    •  I track words in the COCA. It's more my field's style.
  23. ...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
    •  These people are not normal!
  24. ...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
    •  Replace bar with just about any other place, and yes. I have.
  25. ...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
    •  Not just coffee shops.
  26. ...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
    •  Everyone speaks, so this is not hard to do.
  27. ...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
    •  Yeah, I am ashamed. :-(
  28. ...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
    •  Well, no. Because I just put them all on my laptop. Scanning saved me HUNDREDS of dollars in copying costs.
  29. ...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
    •  It's called the internet. But I did have areas of the library that I thought were "mine."
  30. ...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
    •  Film. Actually, see above.
  31. ...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library. 
    •  Yes. And you know what times of day to avoid it.
  32. ...you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
    •  You can get so much more done when there are professors around!
  33. ...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
    •  It isn't?
  34. ...you consider all papers to be works in progress.
    •  They are. There is always more fine tuning.
  35. ...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
    •  Nope, in fact, Dr. Manning actually told me something was less important (for another class, that wasn't his class) and to not worry about that, and to focus on the item he needed. (for publication, mind you.)
  36. ...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text. 
    •  Yes! Where did THEY find their information? And can I steal it?
  37. ...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
    •  Let's not talk about what my room looked like when I had all my thesis books.
  38. ...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
    •  If I have this elusive "free time," I feel like I'm not doing enough. That I'm being lazy and that I need to find something to do.
  39. ...you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
    •  Haha. Not so much for me, though I still think of some in terms of math.
  40. ...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
    •  Yeah, it's just easier to speak in terms they understand.
  41. ...you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
    •  It's her story, the rest just helped. So be concise, makes more sense.
  42. ...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy. 
    •  Months.
  43. ...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
    •  Sometimes you did enough to get by. And if you couldn't, the clothes were worn anyway.
  44. ...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
    •  Again, I scanned to my laptop.
  45. ...you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication". 
    • It should. Some of my best ideas came from talking to myself.

There you have it. Now, you know what I'm signing myself up for....



*time to footnote the source of the list: Penn State Math Department

2 comments:

Kalliope said...

I hadn't realized that you used the COCA. We should talk search syntax and the fun of tricking it to perform searches it's not designed to do! Yay!

Karen Ella said...

I shall not divulge the number of times I just BLATTED out with laughter in my humble little cubie. That was ruddy brilliant. And yes, "blatted" and "cubie" are words now. I said so.