What's with Today, today?

Okay, so it's Friday night, and I'm sitting at home, alone. LAME! I know. But this is how things work when you're 25 years old and getting a Master's in Provo, UT. I'm a social pariah. 25 and unmarried isn't nearly so bad if you're male, but you have to be male. Fortunately, I'm not male. I'm a girl. Which makes this situation 100x worse. *sighs* If I was a guy I'd have more control over this "sitting at home being lame" thing. I know what you're thinking, "it's the 21st century! Go ask a guy out yourself!" But I can't. As independent as my daddy raised me to be, I am a traditionalist at heart. The guy asks the girl out. Until of course they have established themselves as a couple then it's totally kosher for the girl to ask the guy to do things.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not lamenting the lack of a guy in my life, honestly. I'm more trying to point out the idiocracy of the BYU sub-culture. In Boise, I never would have felt lame for being at home, never would have felt out of place for being a single 25 year old female. But in land of a million marriages, it's hard to not feel like an outcast when you yourself are among the unwed. I'm totally down with the single life. I like only having to look out for moi-même. A Master's degree is time consuming. I have so much reading to do for research and classes...it's out of control!! But I have wandered off the beaten path.

BYU sub-culture. The rules of these people go something like this:

1. Marriage is your primary goal, school secondary.
• Girls should be married no later than 21.
  
• As this is the age most boys are coming back from missions...no boy will want an older girl, right?!
• Boys should be married no later than 25.
• Seriously, if you're not married by then, you're wasting time. The 25 age already gives them 2 years of slacking...should be married by 23...sheesh...get it together!
2. Girls should spend minimum of 2 hours getting ready for the day.
   
• Hair needs to be properly teased into place...seen the movie Hairspray? Not such an unrealistic portrayal...
• Make-up? Should look like a professional did it. No facial flaws allowed.
  
3. Clothing, if it's not name-brand brand new this season, you're out of style.
• Can we say Ambercrombie and Fitch? Oh and don't get me started on the Banana Bandwagon...
  (The only time it's acceptable to not be perfectly put together is if you're going for the "surfer"/"skater" looks...but these can only be done with the most expensive line of such clothing...no cheapies here either)
4. Dating shouldn't last longer than 3 months.
• Apparently, you'll know after just 3 months of having known the person (because heaven forbid! you be friends first) whether you want to marry them or not.
  
• Word of caution: DTR does not equal "define the relationship" it does, however, equal "destroy the relationship." There are very few exceptions to this rule.
5. Engagements should not last longer than 2 months.
• Anything longer and you're being ridiculous. I mean, cheap, Mormon wedding dresses are so easy to go buy off the rack. But make sure you don't have sensitive skin, the cheap fabric WILL make you itch... (ew, ew, ew! I'll NEVER buy a Mormon wedding dress...only Teri Alton originals for me!)

I think I'll leave it at those 5 for now. There are more, so I know there will be an update to come. But I'm sick of delving into the twisted workings of the BYU sub-culture for tonight. We'll see, I have a lot of lame Friday nights ahead of me...full of fun reading! (Or maybe, I'll get lucky and some fine, BYU specimen will finally ask me out! Be still, my beating heart....)