When it rains, it pours. And if it's not pouring you're in a drought. I usually apply this statement to an over abundance of boys pursuing an individual girl. However, this blog will deal with the eternal question that plagues everyone at time of breakup and that is the "can exes be friends questions." First, though I want to point out that, there are no definites in the world of relationships, just speculation. Boys will be boys, and there's nothing we can do about it.
Let's start with me and my most recent ex. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing that I've ever experienced in the world of dating. It's not easy knowing that a person you're in love with, is no longer a part of your life in the way you'd planned. We had several rocky months. We fought about the stupidest things, and when we weren't fighting, we weren't exactly friends either...if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The point is, that we still had intense feelings for each other with no outlet to express them. So we fought and stayed in a limbo between together and not together for several months. Then I left for school. Now, we are friends. I still have feelings for him, as my sister pointed out the other day: "you never forget your first love. They're always part of you." I'll admit, our relationship is NOT an easy one. We have had a hard time remembering that we are "just friends" and not together. And we are still figuring out how to be "just friends," but we're getting there and he is a friend.
Through this whole time, I've had many people tell me that this was an impossibility, and I believed them...at times, and did try to cut myself off completely from him. But you can't force what you don't feel. I had to let it just happen naturally; I think that's where the naysayers get their "it'll never work" mentality from. They try to force it to work, and so it fails. When left to it's own devices friendships work themselves out.
I'm not an isolated case. I guarantee that. I was going to talk about my friend Megan. (Yes, you, Robin.) But her "friendship after break up" is turning back into a "we're together, so back off boys" status. These two were friends though. He's just being stupid, and I'd like to tell him that....but we're NOT in junior high. Let him suffer through not having the most AMAZING girl on this earth. He'll come around (and he is...slowly...stupid boys!) They still help to prove my point, because they are still friends, and they keep the friend's boundary. They'll get it figured out. I have faith in them.