01 September 2009

Boys + Skinny Jeans = Gay

It's a simple enough equation. And, boys? I hate to break it to you, but it's true. When I see you walking around campus, the store, whatever...and you're sporting the skinny jean, I will automatically label you as gay. That's just how it is. The exception to this rule: emo boys. If you pull off the full emo-look, I will not pass gay-judgment on you. I will think something like, "that person looks like an idiot" or "they think they're all angsty, but I know better" or even, "why is he wearing girl pants?." But not "oh, that boy is gay."

And for heaven's sake! Do NOT pair it with a tight shirt. That just labels you as a flaming gay boy. Okay? Seriously, leave skinny jeans for the women. (Whom, I might argue shouldn't wear them either.) Or for Billie Joe Armstrong. (He is not distinctly straight, and thus pulls them off with gusto. I may have a (massive) crush on him.)

So to review:

boy + skinny jeans = gay
boy + skinny jeans + tight shirt = flaming gay
billie joe armstrong + skinny jeans = pretty darn hot (I can't help myself.)

For the love of all things good in life, STOP WEARING SKINNY JEANS BOYS!

Also, I've been noticing (first day back to school and all) that the current styles look like they may have been based on dares. Girls, please explain these things to me. Three BRIGHT, UNMATCHED colors in large amounts? When did this start to be "fashionable"? Skirts that look like bags? Or are gathered in at the bottom, but poofy otherwise? And what is with the sandal/shoe combinations? Either buy sandals or buy shoes, not halfbreeds. Alas....


Taren said...

i have to agree. boys, straight leg - okay, but SKINNY JEANS? - why? so not necessary. and definitly gay. Why is it though that guys in hollywood can pull it off and still look masculine? hmm... maybe because they have professional stylists who know how to do it just right?... i'm just sayin, when i see those joe bros in skinny jeans I don't think "gay". some people might, but i don't ;)

also, boy scarves = gay. do you agree?

Taren said...

p.s. just saw your vote over at that tournament. thanks :) did you read all the comments, and notice how I single handedly ruined my friends blog... i thought you would get a kick out of it - the comments, I mean. The other girl "withdrew" from the competition because she said I was cheating. DUH! My votes were OBVIOUSLY a joke - not to mention I didn't know everyone was taking that so seriously... haha. Anyway :) I think I'm going to go write to you on Facebook now.