22 February 2010

FNAM - Update

Some of you know what FNAM is, some of you don't. To put it simply: it was a plan created by two ex-roommates to get me married. They had no hope for themselves, so I became the project. What did they do to help FNAM? Not much that I can tell. They just ask me how "FNAM" is going on occasion. I tell them "I'm still not dating, does that answer the question?" Usually, they laugh.

You see, none of us is particularly good at the dating boys thing. (Or the dating girls thing for that matter....) We don't play the game that most girls play, where you pretend to be more demure and sweet and innocent and unopinionated and simple and homemakingish and etc..... (I clearly don't have an opinion about these girls....) We say what we mean and we mean what we say.

Last night, I was talking to a friend (guy--he's married) about it. I've been toying with the idea of taking the reins and asking a boy out. (This is not me. Though I don't subscribe to normal gender roles, I still think the men should do the asking. Weird, I know...but I think it's what a gentleman should do.) I asked him how I could go about this. His advice? Show genuine interest in the guy and try to show that I'm not intimidating. He believes that guys may be scared of me, and if I show that the guy has no reason to be scared of me, he'd ask me out. To do this he suggested, I isolate the boy and me from the group (if we're in a group setting.) and tell him I noticed that he does x, y, z and I'm curious about the motivations behind x, y, z. Then be un-intimidating and I might get asked out instead of having to do the asking.

I'm still for doing the asking. But I think this advice is valid. He didn't tell me to turn into a simpleton or to dumb-myself-down for the guy. He just suggested I show the boy (whomever he may be) that I'm interested and not really all that intimidating. Because I'm not. I'm not as mean as I appear or as out spoken as I appear. Some of it is a protective measure, and some of it is learned for other reasons.

Long story short. I may be trying this theory out soon. :)

4 comments:

Kristie said...

You want my advice just pull a chair out and start dancing with your ta tas showing.

The Boob Nazi said...

I feel anger when people tell me I'm intimidating because honestly, I'm SO NOT! I laugh all the time. I smile a lot when I'm laughing. I'm not intimidating! I just don't date. Whatever.

Xan said...

I know I'm intimidating. Men are just pansies, I guess?? I don't honestly care that I am intimidating. *shrugs* whatever.

Newt said...

FNAM = Find Noel A Man?