This *Literally* Made Me Cry

From happiness. 

Also, read the comments. They're great. Especially the ones that mention wishing Church could be a place where we discuss our struggles and really share with each other.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Ah...the Good Ol'Days

Looking back at photos of old-school bedrooms, you'll not one thing, and one thing in particular: lack of furniture and stuff.

Notice: Bed. Dresser. Desk. That's it! I guarantee that there is nothing else in the room, except maybe and armoire. Simple. Nothing much.

Why happened to the days when rooms weren't full of stuff. And superfluous things. Old homes even tended to lack extra things in other rooms of the house. The sitting room/parlor/living room/etc had chairs to sit in, a rug, and a couple small tables. Maybe a piano.

When did we become a nation of collectors of unimportant things? Why are our lives so crowded by things that we don't have room to live?

My bedroom is home to a bed, a bedside table, a dresser, a desk (that doesn't even function as a desk right now, it holds my TV), a filing cabinet that is home to my printer, a set of shelves, and a shoe shelf.

I lack floor space to do anything in my room. Granted, I'm renting a single room in a house, but still. I can't wait for the day that I can have my bedroom be my bedroom. My living room, a living room. My home, a home.

*sigh* One day!

Forget Getting Out of Debt

You know all those feel good stories you hear in conference about how they committed to getting out of debt and BAM! the answer/solution fell right into their laps?

Bullshit. All of it.

Or, I just have an EXTREME case of the luck o'the Irish. When it comes to finances. Among other things.

So yeah. If you make a commitment to get out of debt, don't worry...here's how it'll play out for you. A TRUE story.

First, you'll get a decent job and be all "suh-weet! no debt here I come."

Then, you'll get laid off from said job. Thus INCREASING your debt just so you can survive. You know...food and all? Plus, you may become anemic. Meat is pricey. Can't just go eating that whenever you want. However, you will have an AWESOME friend that will help ensure you are getting enough iron...Once she realizes that you aren't getting enough. Tender mercy? I think so.

After that, you'll actually finish your Master's degree and think "<sigh of relief!> now, I can find lucrative work and start paying this debt down.

You won't.

You'll find work as a receptionist that BARELY pays enough for you to meet minimum payments. Oh, and this? doesn't include money for anything after the minimum payments.

You'll finally get out of that job into a job that pays more than you've ever earned. And you'll think "finally! I can pay off my debt and live DEBT FREE and SAVE MONEY and HAVE FOOD STORAGE. Nope.

You will find that THIS is the exact time that everything that you NEED starts to cost you an arm and a leg.

My check engine light came on today. Pray it's cheap. Or I may just fall off the bandwagon. Because, I literally can't take this anymore.

I pay my tithing. I'm going to church. I even went to church when I was feeling like I didn't belong and cried every Sunday because of that. But I went. I just can't do this anymore. I just want to be obedient. And I can't.

Ducks, Better Late than Never

I missed my obligatory blog post about ducks. I suck. Sorry.


So here are some African ducks, as seen at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle.

Why are the African? Well, they were in the Safari exhibit, so they MUST be African.

Re: Cloud Walking

Well, I'm not sure what needs to be said here. Because part of the news is good, and part is "get off your butt and keep fighting."

I'll explain.

I sent a proposal on ideas I have for the YW's manual to one of the brethren that oversees the YW program (with the General Presidency). He hasn't responded. I sent a follow-up email and still have heard nothing. I need to get off my butt and keep fighting for this, but I just haven't found motivation to call. Mostly because I'm a coward.

The good news is rather simple. I met with Sister Allred, and she is the feistiest petite woman I know. There was a disconnect in our conversations at first, but by the end I felt like I'd met a kindred spirit.

To summarize (and I'll try to post more details later):

• She and the others are aware and concerned about the aging demographic of single women.
• She promised me our mothers cry for us at night. (I did try to argue against this one. It just seems silly that my mom would cry over something as trivial as this when she has shed tears over things mothers should never cry about. But Sister Allred was insistent.)
• The above statement means this: they (as a presidency) are likewise concerned.
• She was emphatic that if we as sisters don't feel like we belong in our wards/stakes then it is the male leadership that has failed. The Bishop is the shepherd of the ward, if we are not feeling like we belong, then the responsibility falls to him to help us. If we ask for callings, calling changes, better home or visiting teachers, he needs to comply. Because these things can help ease our loneliness and help us feel needed and useful.
• She doesn't understand why men don't marry us because WE. ARE. AWESOME.

Overall, good meeting. I left feeling like I had been heard, and maybe...just maybe, the next time Sister Allred speaks she'll talk to us. About us. Beacuse, she really does love us. That I know.

I Only Have Myself to Blame

I work all day as an editor.

I also am helping write articles for my job.

I go home at night, and I don't get a break from all of this.

I have a book I'm trying to help get published (by being an assistant editor.)

I have a book chapter that needs revisions so that it can be published.

I have a presentation that needs revisions. (For those that don't know, this means I have a paper that needs revisions and about a week before the presentation, I'll have to create said presentation.)

I guess it's a good thing I love doing this? Because honestly? I should be feeling burned out by now.