08 November 2011

Sometimes...The Answer is "No"

Usually, anniversaries* are happy events. Someone is born, married, engaged, etc. Some anniversaries, however, are not happy events.

Yesterday, my parents celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary. The were sealed 31 years ago. Yay! Happy.

Today? Today marks the one year mark of a miracle that did not happen. I'd tried to shut down from feeling, so that this day could pass and I could pretend that everything was fine.

But, this is not healthy behavior.

So I sat down and let myself feel the emotions that had been carefully locked away. I let the tears fall, I let myself know that it is human to miss people. Even with all the religious reasons to feel at peace and happy. It's okay to miss people. It's okay to feel upset. It's okay to not understand.

You move forward anyway. Slowly you pick up the pieces and figure it out.

Today, I miss my cousin. Today, I feel empathy for the pain his parents are suffering. For all who loved him, today, I wish you some ounce of peace.

*I originally typed "anniversaires" the French plural. /sigh

No comments: